He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize