Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize