Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize