There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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