Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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