just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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