Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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