worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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