I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This baby is an asshole
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize