she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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