I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
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Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
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The struggles of a small town man whore
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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