Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize