my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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