Dual....:-)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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