U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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