two words: eviction party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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