What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize