WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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