Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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