Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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