she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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