I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize