there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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