For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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