How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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