I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize