whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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