ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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