There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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