I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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