This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Let's get the cat blown out
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