You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
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I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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