i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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