She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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