Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize