but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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