Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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