I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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