I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This baby is an asshole
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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