I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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