i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize