You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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