in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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