I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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