Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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