The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize