I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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