I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize