So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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