dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize