she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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