well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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